illustration of a baby drinkin wine

You've been visited by
drunk baby.

Drunk Baby tells you the truth. Not pulling off that new septum ring? Does your breath stink after lunch? Drunk Baby will give it to you straight.

All Drunk Baby asks is you send this page to 10 people so that they, too, may avoid the accusation of millennialism. Trust me, you're not free because you're cringe. People are writing NYT think-pieces about you.

If you do not send this page to 10 people, Drunk Baby will pretend like everything's cool, at first. Then, when you least expect it, Drunk Baby will betray you. Oh, it won't be the first or even the fortieth time. But one day, when you have long forgotten, and the stakes couldn't be higher, Drunk Baby will let you leave the house with a cum stain on your shirt. Have a great first date.